She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
