I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
