Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
