Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
