I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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