make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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