we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
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