Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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