Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
there is glitter all over my balls
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
