there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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