carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
