So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
