she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
