Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
