im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
