Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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