remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
