just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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