The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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