we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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