oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
