she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
so let's talk penis.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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