my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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