Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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