I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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