Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
he thought i was a dude.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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