How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101