Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.