help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
His hands were made for my vagina.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...