my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.