Quick, to the slutcave!
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
drinking out of a sandbucket again
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Sorry about my life...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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