is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
i out mim tonsoeep
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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