How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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