She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
birth control should be required to get into college
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
