It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
