yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
