I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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