Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
