I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
