whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
