So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
