i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
