Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.

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(815): View more from Illinois

But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.

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(517): View more from Michigan

She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.

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(623): View more from Arizona

and then she asked if she could shave my junk

(443): View more from Maryland

and howd that go?

(623): View more from Arizona

can you pick me up from the hospital?

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