Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
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Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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