Apparently you make a good broom.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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