last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
