Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
How external is "for external use only"?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
