Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
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Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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