I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I lost the right to judge tonight
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
ok first of all what the fuck
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
