Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
