He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize