Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
