I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize