walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
