just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
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