Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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