Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
