The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
