I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
