If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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