I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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