the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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