i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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