At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
