I can text with my tongue
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
