What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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